(L'accent aigu, people - it's not hard.) It's even more crucial than our right to be accepted for our naturally evolving identities, like when I came back from a semester abroad with a Barcelonian lisp.Ĭonsider for a moment how this will affect me. Don't worry, sticking to terms previous generations were mostly fine with always works out.īut this isn't just about respecting a person's sovereignty over their - I mean, his or her - own naming, like when I abruptly switched my name to its French equivalent in the eighth grade or the justifiable rage I fly into when it's misspelled on a Starbuck's cup. Respecting your gender identity will just have to wait, too. Do we not all have color? That's why I've vowed to go old school and only use the 19th century anthropological categorizations of Negroid, Mongoloid and Caucasoid until a perfect solution presents itself. "People of color" has always hit my ear as awkward, too. Do you really think the Oxford English Dictionary would have added "mankini" in 2011 if it didn't roll off the tongue? The clunkiness is part of what makes they/them an imperfect solution I cannot accept. Even if the dignity of being addressed by pronouns that don't impose ill-fitting categories onto you was important enough to change English language and usage, it would have to be a little more musical to the ear. If someone isn't happy with he/she, then they can come up with something else that will hopefully require no transitional effort from me personally. I literally can't make myself use incorrect English. You know how deeply I care about singular and plural distinctions, as evidenced by my habit of pointing aggressively whenever I say the word "you" and my refusal to discuss deer or fish in those terms, preferring instead to call them "antler dogs" and "scaly flippies." It's as serious an issue to me as ending sentences with prepositions or using British spelling - knowing he writes "favourite" and "colour" is the reason Idris Elba and I are not together right now. And "they/them" clearly refers only to two or more people. I'd still do anything to support you - anything! Except call you they/them.įirstly, the grammar gets me. Remember, I was one of the first people wearing a safety pin until I realized it was leaving little vampire-bite holes in all my shirts and jackets. We've been friends for a long time and when you announced that you are non-binary I wanted to be a supportive ally.
Editor's note: To avoid any confusion, please note that this is a work of satire.